Men's Perspective

David Bissonette:
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Sacha Guitry:
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Dumas:
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?

Sigmund Freud:
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Anonymous:
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

Sam Kinison:
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

James Holt McGavran:
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."

Patrick Murray:
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Nash:
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

Anonymous:
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Henny Youngman:
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield:
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Anonymous:
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Anonymous:
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

The Husband Store...

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. ... You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. .

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Good Old Barber

There was a good old barber in Bangalore . One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies:
I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service. Florist is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" Card and a dozen roses waiting at hisdoor.

A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber he again refuses to take the money. The Confectioner is happy and leaves the shop.


The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is another "Thank you" Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his door.


A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber again refuses the money saying that it was a community service.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there......


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A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free haircut... with Printouts of Forwarded mail mentioning about free haircut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!